Less than a week into my worry fast I thought I was doing pretty well. I’d avoided some of the big pitfalls (much to my surprise). Mostly, I’d managed not to fret over family issues–Mom, Dad, my niece–praying and leaving them in God’s capable hands.
Sunday morning I sat in church as the pastor talked about spiritual practices, feeling pretty good about this fast that I originally thought might be sort of impossible. Then it hit me. I’d been worrying all week.
It’s what you might call a low-grade kind of worry. Turns out I’m a relational worrier.
While I managed to think about the big issues without descending into worry, I absolutely fretted over things like:
- Calling a friend I hadn’t seen in too long.
- Visiting neighbors I keep meaning to visit.
- Inviting a friend to use tickets another friend gave me.
- Wondering if I’d spent enough quality time with a friend I see too rarely.
- How often I should call family members.
- Finding time to deepen and nurture relationships I care about without depleting myself or taking away from my relationship with my husband.
It’s not like I was waking up in the night wondering what should I DO?!? I just had all these niggling little thoughts–worries–popping up in my peripheral vision from time to time. And I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
So, step 2 in fasting from worry is realizing what it is, exactly, I worry about.