Just Tell Us Who Won Already

VOTEI have a confession. During this almost endless political season, when the pollsters call, I answer. I answer every poll I possibly can. And I lie. I change my ethnicity, my age, my sex. The only thing I tell true is my political preference. (And we won’t get into exactly what that is.)

Here’s why I lie. I can’t stand polls. I can’t stand that six months before the election, pollsters are already telling us who’s going to win. Even though the polls will likely change.

Two months ago, the election was a done deal and there were only a handful of undecided voters. Now it’s a toss-up which clearly means some group of voters either changed or made up their minds.

Who’s to say if the people answering the polls are even the ones who vote? I did vote and I voted the way I said I would regardless of how old, young, black, hispanic, male, female, liberal or conservative I was when I answered each poll.

Tomorrow is election day. Go vote if you haven’t already (I voted early). And next time there’s an election I invite you to join me in answering the polls. Come join me in messing with the pollsters. Honestly, it’s kind of fun.

5 thoughts on “Just Tell Us Who Won Already

  1. Steve West

    “Now it’s a toss-up which clearly means some group of voters either changed or made up their minds.” Really? Surprisingly (after what you just wrote), you left out the most important reason the polls change on a daily basis. It’s because you’re far from the only person who ventured far afield from the truth when answering the danged intrusions. I know of at least one other person who does that and he even lies about for whom he is going to vote. Yep . . . me. I’ve done it for every election cycle since I became of voting age (I’m 70). And you’re right, it IS fun!

    I counsel all my friends to do the same. And most of them do! Why? Because the politicians mess with our minds every day, all day long. They care more about their own re-elections than they care about us, the Constitution, or the Country. They lie to us . . . a LOT! Diogenes’ lantern would have run out of oil in our nation’s capitol centuries ago. Washington, D.C., has become about 28 square miles surrounded by reality. It seems the only time they care about what we think is when it’s time to vote for them again. Then, instead of reading our letters and e-mails, they send out the pollsters to find out what we think.

    Does lying to pollsters make me a negative person? Absolutely not! I know exactly what I am. I am neither a pessimist nor an optimist. I am a realist. A cynically, sarcastic, and realistic wrinkled curmudgeon, and I’m proud of it. I have no plans to change, either. As long as the politicians continue to lie to us with impunity and take better care of themselves than they do of us, I will happily continue on that path (well, as happy as a card-carrying curmudgeon can be).

    Oh yes, I have also already voted – over two weeks ago. And if any of you don’t vote, I never want to hear from you about politics because I am a firm believer in, “If you don’t vote, don’t squawk!” As a proud curmudgeon, I have renewed my ethical right to squawk at every election and will continue to do so. I encourage you to do the same. Then some day you might even qualify to join the ranks of the rest of us cynically, sarcastic, and realistic wrinkled curmudgeons. We’re really nice people at heart.

  2. heatherdaygilbert

    Interesting! I’ve certainly kicked around lying about it, but haven’t done it yet. Somehow we haven’t gotten many calls this time (I think b/c we moved). Just voted today, but I knew four years ago who I was voting for this time…hee.

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